


Tomfoolery And Tomcats

by Le_purple



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Edwardian, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Bathing/Washing, Bathtubs, Bubble Bath, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Magic, Rain, Rainbow Drinker Kanaya Maryam, Romantic Fluff, Shapeshifting, Tea, Vampire Kanaya Maryam, Vampires, Witch Rose Lalonde, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:46:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26092093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_purple/pseuds/Le_purple
Summary: Kanaya drops by a cottage where Rose lives with her cat, but little does she know there's more to the witch and her cat than meets the eye.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Tomfoolery And Tomcats

The Vampiress stood waiting at the door of the cottage she had stumbled across in the depths of the forest, the rain pouring down through the leaves and petals of the surrounding flower garden. It opened shortly after her knuckles first tapped the wood, the witch residing inside swinging it open almost expectantly.

“Hello Rose!”

“Hey Kanaya, caught in the rain again? If I were a smarter woman I’d think that you were searching for it, almost as an excuse for me to let you in? It’s strange for a dweller of this area to become lost so frequently.”

“I Would Never Insult Your Intelligence With Such Tricks, I Am Well And Truly Lost, And Have Happened To Find Myself In The Midst Of A Downpour.”

“Well what can a kindly stranger do but let this lost maiden in?”

“What _Can_ She Do?”

Rose smiled at Kanaya and moved out of the doorway, heading towards her kitchen. The inside of the cottage was warm and cosy, the stove burning pleasantly warm and the smell of lavender incense in the air as the rain pattered down outside. It was warmly decorated, but cluttered, with knitting patches, teacups and other items strewn about haphazardly.

“Care for a cup of tea Kanaya?” Rose asked, grabbing her kettle already and filling it with water.

“If You Would Be So Kind.” The Vampiress said, slipping off her utterly soaked shoes and letting her feet onto the hardwood floor and soft carpet. “Where’s Jasperose?”

“In the kitchen by the stove. I’m sure that you love that cat more than you love me.” Rose commented, the topical black cat toddling out of the kitchen shortly after and brushing up against Kanaya’s leg, circling it like a shark and leaving a wet mark on his fluffy fur. Kanaya crouched down and gave the cat a good fuss, scratching the base of his tail and petting his head before Jasperose realised his fur was getting wet and quickly toddled off back into the kitchen. Kanaya briefly followed the feline, but found a suddenly appearing Rose blocking her path.

“Kanaya, you might want to change your dress before you flood out my carpet.”

“Oh, Sorry, I Suppose I Spent A Little Too Much Time Out In The Rain Before I Arrived.”

“You can take a hot bath if you’d like, I wouldn’t mind if you borrowed one of my nightgowns...or perhaps even stayed the night?”

Kanaya blushed, seemingly flustered by the thought.

“I…” She fought to regain her composure “Are You Sure That You’re Willing To Let A Creature Of The Night Such As Myself Stay In Your Home, Who Knows What I Could Do While You Were In The Vulnerable Clutches Of Sleep.”

“Hush you,” The witch said warmly, leaning up and kissing Kanaya on the cheek. “Run yourself a bath, I’ll bring your tea up when it’s brewed.”

She turned back to the kitchen, Kanaya watching her for a few moments before grabbing the wooden banister and making her way upstairs to the bathroom. It was cleanly tiled and had the usual decor of a sink and a toilet, as well as a few potted plants and toiletries strewn about. The bathtub was fixed to the floor itself, the tiles joined together to create a lipped basin, long and deep, bathing oils, soaps and whatever other concoctions Rose had procured stacked haphazardly on the sides. Kanaya took great care not to knock any of the bottles down into the bath as she leaned over and turned on the hot and cold taps, instead finding herself under the pour of the shower head before she switched the settings and let the bath run, putting in the plug. She could hear the rumble of the boiler through the wall, the water travelling through the pipes to come out as a warm hiss, already forming a shallow pool in the tub.

Pulling on the laces of her bodice, Kanaya began to disrobe, tugging down on layered fabric and peeling off the wet, clinging clothes, weighed down with rain. They had grown quite uncomfortable actually, and Kanaya was glad to be rid of the somewhat cumbersome petticoats and folds that stuck to her skin until she was able to peel the garment away, dropping the heavy fabric to the tiled floor. She not so neatly kicked her clothes over to the side of the bathroom and impatiently swirled the bathwater, uncapping a few of Rose’s glass bottles and spilling a few colourful dollops into the water to mix in together.

She jumped as she felt something furry brush against her bare leg, Kanaya looking down to see the familiar cat vying for her attention.

“Hello Again,” Kanaya greeted, crouching down and petting Jasperose. “I Would Suggest That You Go And Pester Rose, I Have Heard Of Your Distaste For Baths.”

Of course Jasperose did not heed her words, being a cat, and continued blissfully whirling around her legs for attention. He stood up on his hind legs to spring up and rub his face against her knee, the vampiress gasping out in pleased surprise before returning her attention to the feline.

“Well, I Suppose I Did Warn You, So Don’t Kick Up A Fuss When You Inevitably Get Splashed Or Dripped On.”

She dipped one foot into the bath and the other followed shortly behind, the quickly rising warm water reaching just above her ankles and the soapy foam reaching more closely to her knees. The coldness of her undead body was met with the welcoming heat of the water as she sank down in the tub, Kanaya letting out a content sigh as she leaned her back against the tiles and rested her head against the wall. Of course her own home had the luxury of a bathtub, but there was something special about Rose’s, more magically modern than her own colourfully painted yet drab stone walls, Rose's cosy and cluttered instead of wide open and also cluttered.

Kanaya’s eyes fluttered open as she sensed a presence moving, seeing the fluffy black cat curiously place his paws onto the rim of the bathtub, purple eyes opened adorably wide with giant deep, black pupils.  
“I Didn’t Take You To Be A Pervert, Kitty.” She mused, crossing one leg over the other under the bubbly water. “I’d Advise You Not To Join Me, Little One, It Would Go Well For Neither Of Us.”

The cat blinked at her, paws still hooked over the tiles before the whistling of a stove kettle could be heard downstairs, Jasperose practically jumping out of his fur before darting off out of the bathroom, silky tail undulating with each little trot.  
What a strange cat.

She sank down into the water, hair sliding down the tiled edge as her chin met the rising surface of the bathwater, submerging her from her shoulders down to her toes and warming her rain-soaked skin. Kanaya found difficulty in retaining heat, being undead and all, and the warmth leeching rain didn’t help her condition all that much, but a hot bath was a perfect remedy.

Kanaya slipped lower, holding her breath as she allowed her head to be submerged as well, warming through her cold, wet hair all the way through to her skull, soothing a budding migraine. Of course she didn’t open her eyes, fearing the sting of soapy foam, so she lay in darkness, warm, relaxed, feeling like she was just floating through space or the deep sea. She could hear the tiny bubbles in the foam crackle as they popped, and that was the only sound she heard until  
“Mrrp!”

Kanaya ripped forwards and _gasped,_ choking air through the shock as if she had been drowning. She ran her fingers through her hair, pulling the wet black mass back to see Jasprose with his paws on the bath again, violet eyes wide and the handle to a stove kettle in his jaw.

“Oh! Jasprose! I...You Startled Me...I’m...Talking To A Cat…” Kanaya said, a little exasperated and out of breath.  
“Oh, Tea? Aren’t You A Talented Little Kitty!” She cooed, squeezing the water off of her hand so she could pat the cats head. “Did You Happen To Bring A Cup?”

The cat removed his paws from the side of the bath and gently set the kettle down with a ‘ke-tunk’ before nudging a china cup with his paw, making Kanaya’s heart melt a little.

“Any Other Tricks Up Your Furry Little Sleeves I Should Be Aware Of?” Kanaya mused, taking great care not to drip on the cat as she leaned over the lip of the bathtub to make use of what the cat had brought, grabbing both the teacup and kettle and bringing them closer.  
For a moment, Kanaya considered the practicalities of such a feline managing to bring her those things, putting it down to magic.

“Tricks? Well, maybe one or two.”

At once, Kanaya dropped the kettle and teacup to the bathroom floor with a loud clatter, a crack forming on the seam of the ceramics handle, her jade eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape. What once presented itself as a fluffy black cat, had morphed into Rose Lalonde in nothing but a dull flash of light, as if the vampiress blinked and the witch replaced the similarly violet eyed feline, the former of which smiled knowingly at Kanaya. She took a moment to actually take in what had just happened, running through possibilities in her head such as teleportation or illusion magic.

“Y...Rose?”

“Yes Kanaya?”

“In The Frankest Way Possible, Have You Always Been A Cat?”

“Well that simply depends on ones definition of always,” Rose began, casually picking up the kettle and filling the teacup before passing it back to a bewildered Kanaya.  
“For example, I have not ‘always been a cat’, but for the duration of you knowing me I have interchanged between myself and my actual feline companion as some sort of japery, a long lived prank which so far I have found very amusing, and quite entertaining to uphold. In short, I have not always been a cat, but you have always known me in a dual persona as a cat.”

“That Is Perhaps The Most Ridiculous Thing You Have Ever Told Me. Although I Commend Your Dedication To This Prank, I’m Having Trouble Seeing The Amusement Beyond ‘I tricked you’.” Kanaya sipped at her tea, looking somewhat confused at Rose’s motives.  
She wasn’t lying, it was truly the most ridiculous thing Rose had ever told her, and Kanaya would have refused to believe it if not for the evidence quite literally sitting in front of her, sipping on her own cup of tea.  
“And Why Choose To Reveal This To Me Now? Was It An Arbitrary Decision On Your Part, Or Have You Always Planned To Reveal This Information To Me In Such A Way?”

“Perhaps I got bored, who’s to say?”

There was a brief silence between the two, Kanaya sinking back down into the bath.

“Well, It’s Not As If I Wasn’t Fooled.” She admitted.

“Aw, don’t be like that, you can still pet me if you’d like, if I had any qualms with the idea I would’ve scratched you or darted away the moment you reached out. Of course it helped that the real Jasperose happened to take a liking to you.”

“I Would Like That, Although Perhaps It Might Be A Little Different What With What I Now Know. But There _Is_ A Real Jasperose, Yes?”

“I was right,” Rose swooned dramatically “You _do_ love the cat more than me! Replaced by my own familiar, how shall I ever live on?”

“It Seems That Your Plan Has Backfired, And My Love For You Has Been In Fact For The Cat You Imitated. A Tragic Outcome.”

“What a fool I have been.”

“Despite This I Can’t Help But Consider The Possibility That You Have Been Using Your Feline Alter Ego For Ulterior Motives. The Unassuming Cat Has Seen Me In More Than One Compromising Position.”

Rose shut her eyes and sipped her drink, Kanaya smiling wryly as she rested her elbows on the side of the bath, shifting in the foamy water.

“I shall confirm or deny nothing.”

“Well,” Kanaya laughed “I’m Sure There’s Room For The Both Of Us In Here, If You’d Join Me?”

“I…I’d like that quite a bit.”


End file.
